


Token Gay Couple

by gala_apples



Series: Get Xander Laid Season Two [12]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-13
Updated: 2011-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode 2x12: Bad Egg</p>
            </blockquote>





	Token Gay Couple

After going after a pretty wife, only to be told off, then deciding his little egg could have Willow for a mom, only to realize she had also wanted someone other then him, Xander walked around the room searching. All over the partners were sitting down together, and he knew any minute he would be the last man standing. And it would go like grade ten, and he would be naked. But of course life was never that easy. Instead of a quickly solved bout of nakedness, there were only two people left standing.

"I'll go with Buffy Summers. Blonde, sometimes in class?" Xander begged. Anything was better then the one person left, even a person with the work ethic she had. Granted, she was stronghearted when it came to slaying, but her schooling could use some work. Hell, any work whatsoever.

"No. You're friends, you won't work properly."

"I'll work with Summers then," Larry suggested.

"No" the teacher simply stated. Xander could tell he wanted to add _you sexual pervert_ to the end, what with the constant knocking girl's stuff over so he could peek up their skirts. It wasn't as if everyone didn't know. In fact, it had gotten to the point that if Larry hadn't been on the team, he would have been in deep shit for harassment.

"Great. Single parenting."

Xander moved to pick up his chock-fulla-cholesterol baby but the teacher again said no. "Token gay couple. It'll get the school board off of my back about tolerance."

"No."

"No! I'm not a fag!" Larry was screeching, it was horrible, made worse when someone in the viewing audience shouted 'maybe not but you're still getting married to a boy'. It was then Xander realised it would have been better to have been naked. At least then he wouldn't have a raging maniac being told to keep close quarters with him. Unfortunately, he was someone that was incredibly easy to smack around, and he had no doubt Larry would take advantage of that.

After class, Larry came up to him. He was only a _meep_ on the menacing scale, not an _oh dear jesus_ , so that was a plus. "It doesn't work that way."

"Wha- what?" Did he really want to know what Larry could possibly be talking about? What if he was explaining how now that he had inquired the wrath of the footballer, he would have to fetch things, do errands. Fuck, it would be exactly like home.

"In a gay relationship." Oh god, Xander really didn't. "No husband, no wife. Not split like that."

"I am not the wife!" Xander screamed, slightly hysterical.

"Okay, I'll be. If you want."

Xander snatched the yolky goodness from Larry's huge hand and sprinted down the hall. This was not something he could deal with right now. Maybe in a week. Or a month. Or ten years from now. Right now was not the time for shirtlifting.


End file.
